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TheAwkHawk's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
TheAwkHawk's favorite FMLs
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
by Butterflyguy / 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Animals
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
by gorgeousrenthead / 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML
by ohwell / 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 2:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Aisu / 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my small dog walked up to me with a guilty face. I immediately shouted that she was a pooper… Today, my large dog sprinted outside to see my step dad because he thought he was going on a walk.… Today was payday, I "got my pay check" so I decided to treat myself to a bag of lollies... My card…