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TheAncientForest

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TheAncientForest

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  • Number of visits : 35
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheAncientForest's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68919) - you deserved it (12144)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67270) - you deserved it (7154)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57361) - you deserved it (6480)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55687) - you deserved it (5264)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57876) - you deserved it (10470)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (3853)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (18412)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (4288)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (5753)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14389) - you deserved it (35771)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41279) - you deserved it (6224)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (37282)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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