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TheAncientForest's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
by notacaveman / 04/16/2013 at 9:27am / Netherlands / Intimacy
by guess I'm stuck / 04/16/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm / United States / Love
by Mimi / 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm / United States (California) / Kids
by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
by danman / 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Health
by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Love
by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
by nosey / 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
by JacktheRussian / 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…