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ThatOnePerson97

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ThatOnePerson97

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YDI master

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ThatOnePerson97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (7296)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (4159)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (2374)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (4417)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (2020)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2095)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (11714)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (6437)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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