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ThatOnePerson97

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ThatOnePerson97

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YDI master

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ThatOnePerson97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

#21259366
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (1790)

On 09/16/2014 at 10:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (3207)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40216) - you deserved it (14330)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38868) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41170) - you deserved it (4683)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (7525)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (44594)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40264) - you deserved it (4270)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (8299) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

#21235196
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (3967)

On 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

#21232741
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47626) - you deserved it (2860)

On 08/08/2014 at 7:25pm - health - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vasternorrlands Lan)



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