Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ThatLooksSticky

Search for a member

ThatLooksSticky
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 May 1979 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 2058
  • Number of comments : 391
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ThatLooksSticky : http://tinyurl.com/3bwvegr

I read FML on my phone, so there's a good chance I'm either slacking off at work or sitting on the toilet. Maybe doing both at the same time!

ThatLooksSticky's last visitors

itsalanisthe_rude_dudeCloudBustahEdenCrystalfenellaisacuteborntoperformBroadway_VaynebrittanyavidoFindingYujintoasty_narwals

ThatLooksSticky's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of ThatLooksSticky's badges

ThatLooksSticky's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (4119)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52470) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (8433)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (30869)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (7842)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63498) - you deserved it (9578)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (8136)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

#1475215
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97224) - you deserved it (15711)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329124) - you deserved it (35702)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (617203) - you deserved it (413906)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77314) - you deserved it (12975)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: