About ThatLooksSticky : http://tinyurl.com/3bwvegr
I read FML on my phone, so there's a good chance I'm either slacking off at work or sitting on the toilet. Maybe doing both at the same time!
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Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (6755)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (6352)
On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (32696)
On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (13399)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (17337)
On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50114) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (1975)
On 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (22982)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (27688)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (6230)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (6563)
On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (3012)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (4683)
On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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