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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (4790)
On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (13711)
On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (13711)
On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6187) - you deserved it (37925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (79139)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (5681)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States
Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (3522)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (3522)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47502) - you deserved it (5423)
On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52272) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (2443)
On 05/26/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by StatusSearch (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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