Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/16/2015 at 5:01am) | Search for a member
About That1One1Chick : 1st profile picture-
•my attitude most of the time
2nd profile pic-
•my blue nose pit 'Tigger'
3rd profile pic-
•my gorgeous cousin wearing a funny hat (NOT ME)
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML
Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML
Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML
Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML
Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML
Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML
Monday 5 October 2015