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Thales_

Offline (the 03/04/2014 at 7:01am) | Search for a member

Thales_

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  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thales_'s favorite FMLs

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16585) - you deserved it (6604)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (9421)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (2822)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (3225)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (9703)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (9849)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (4988)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (3049)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (2428)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (2695)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16435) - you deserved it (39453)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (35814)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (3056)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)



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