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Thales_

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Thales_

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  • Number of visits : 622
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thales_'s page activity

Visits<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:39pm

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Thales_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (1464)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (2357)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my butt decided to delete the 650 photos I had on my phone. FML

#21247514
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26840) - you deserved it (5133)

On 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (4055)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (5451)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (26830)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45069) - you deserved it (8772)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (2533)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (3578)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (14240)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (6972)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37532) - you deserved it (7032)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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