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Thales_

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Thales_

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  • Number of visits : 916
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Thales_'s page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - yesterday at 6:54pm<b>NateTheGreat132</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:39pm

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Thales_'s favorite FMLs

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12659) - you deserved it (1196)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12715) - you deserved it (1105)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14081) - you deserved it (2620)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you deserved it (1525)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26099) - you deserved it (7543)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (1689)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (4673)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (6424)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (2393)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (3172)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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