Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tezoma

Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 8:17pm) | Search for a member

Tezoma

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1494
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tezoma : I am an eighteen year old responsible adult. I enjoy standing front row at concerts, moshing, video games, anime, British TV, Korean romantic comedies (my guilty pleasure), homestuck, MLP, WTNV, The Monstrumologist, and, occasionally, the slots.
I'm a lover of poetry and art and I am a pro doodler.

I do and say childish things sometimes, and I am very sorry for that. But I am a child. I have no self control, and there seems to be no helping it.

Messages are nice.

Tezoma's page activity

Visits<b>Superdouchebag</b> - yesterday at 3:39pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:02pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:16am<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:05pm<b>Etched</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:56am<b>shudson186</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Some_Cat_Lover</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:30am<b>Peter_Ohnigian</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:18am<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:50pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:47am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 10:40am<b>Cindering</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:28am<b>IAmZim</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:05pm<b>mattsally559</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:39am<b>nunchux88</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:47am<b>Miku01</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:06am

Tezoma's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Tezoma's badges

Tezoma's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (4198)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (4851)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he gets grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (5628)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (21471)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (33917)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (3107)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33264) - you deserved it (3027)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43146) - you deserved it (5318)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (11571)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (11206)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (5916)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40638) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: