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About Tess : Gamer girl. Anyone play Uncharted? I love meeting new people..
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7881) - you deserved it (720)
On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2597) - you deserved it (7842)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9680) - you deserved it (2679)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5161) - you deserved it (805)
On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3282) - you deserved it (12049)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2573) - you deserved it (5771)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3089) - you deserved it (8519)
On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States
Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (1740)
On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (1519)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3324) - you deserved it (15933)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (7563)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (3447)
On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21492) - you deserved it (1566)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by charlotte9338 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (4160)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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