About Termites : I'm better then you.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (4040)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (2255)
On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (1114)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (6457)
On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, after nearly a year of headaches and fuzzy vision, I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had my contacts in the wrong eyes for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6883) - you deserved it (28504)
On 11/02/2012 at 11:39am - health - by Midnightpearls - United States
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (4364)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2130)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (564)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12869) - you deserved it (32238)
On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (7543)
On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (2343)
On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (1561)
On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)
Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (1985)
On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (50454)
On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2059)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
