Termites

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Termites

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9153
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Termites : I'm better then you.

Termites's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:52pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:53pm<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:22pm<b>shupwhup</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:32am<b>sickkidsrock</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>als2428</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 9:37am<b>HB791</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:22am<b>Sydney06</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:25pm<b>MEF62</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:05am<b>amandarikie</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:15pm<b>coolname2016</b> - the 06/10/2012 at 9:20pm<b>WiderWille</b> - the 05/08/2012 at 3:06pm<b>Acanto</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 5:09am<b>RiiOT09</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 8:53am<b>Weave9z</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 2:11pm

Termites's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Termites's badges

Termites's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

by selfishsexysanta / 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm / Spain (Canarias) / Animals