Termites

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Termites

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9362
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Termites : I'm better then you.

Termites's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 12:52pm<b>_MintyFresh</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:53pm<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:22pm<b>shupwhup</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:32am<b>sickkidsrock</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>als2428</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 9:37am<b>HB791</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:22am<b>Sydney06</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:25pm<b>MEF62</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:05am<b>amandarikie</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:15pm<b>coolname2016</b> - the 06/10/2012 at 9:20pm<b>WiderWille</b> - the 05/08/2012 at 3:06pm<b>Acanto</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 5:09am<b>RiiOT09</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 8:53am<b>Weave9z</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 2:11pm

Termites's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Termites's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

by Sarah / 01/01/2013 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

by WasZumTeufel? / 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

by _The__Doctor_ / 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

by offtothejobcentre / 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

by shattysituation / 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Work

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

by anon / 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous