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Termites

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Termites

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4684
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Termites : I'm better then you.

Termites's page activity

Visits<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:32am<b>sickkidsrock</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:59pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>als2428</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 9:37am<b>HB791</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:22am<b>Sydney06</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 4:25pm<b>MEF62</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:05am<b>amandarikie</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 12:12am<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:15pm<b>coolname2016</b> - the 06/10/2012 at 9:20pm<b>WiderWille</b> - the 05/08/2012 at 3:06pm<b>Acanto</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 5:09am<b>RiiOT09</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 8:53am<b>Weave9z</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 2:11pm<b>mumblebumble</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 10:04am<b>duckman9</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 5:14pm<b>kewlstoribro</b> - the 07/08/2011 at 10:59pm<b>shyguy84</b> - the 06/29/2011 at 4:32pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Termites's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24392) - you deserved it (1600)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12172) - you deserved it (33794)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46846) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (8580)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (4796)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (3745)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (5495)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20089) - you deserved it (8306)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2529)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56635) - you deserved it (10361)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9429) - you deserved it (33470)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38361) - you deserved it (8190)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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