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TeonaElaine15's favorite FMLs
by Weak Disposition / 04/27/2012 at 12:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
by maddie / 12/27/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
by anonymous / 06/03/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by nofriends / 06/01/2011 at 12:28am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I started lessons on snowboarding. As soon as I got to the top of the hill, my instructor pushed me saying, "Just believe, it'll come to you!" He said this just before I hit a tree, breaking my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:07am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
by RabbitOwner / 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
by yingyang2 / 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
by anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
- Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years… Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember… Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin…