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TellMeWhatsDeath

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TellMeWhatsDeath
  • Town/Country : Yorkshire, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1245
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TellMeWhatsDeath : Hi I often come on this site to fuck bitches, smoke weed and eat some cereal.
Hope your day is lovely. xx

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TellMeWhatsDeath's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (6843)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (3587)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (3125)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (5390)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (37250)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (2514)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (5481)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (5543)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16394) - you deserved it (35724)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30385) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (3430)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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