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TedCunn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm / Puerto Rico / Love
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
by FattestUgliestPerson / 01/18/2014 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
- Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and… Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at… Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly…