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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44631) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (3351)
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1193)
On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (1303)
On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6262) - you deserved it (19531)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (3037)
On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7802) - you deserved it (17311)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32342)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (14622)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:45am - money - by duped (woman) - Pakistan (Punjab)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (8923)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8140) - you deserved it (174152)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56322) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (3006)
On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (12819)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (2473)
On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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