Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Teauh

Search for a member

Teauh
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 779
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Teauh's last visitors

NandaPandahelloimclaudiaRodzillaX

Teauh's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Teauh's badges

Teauh's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (4388)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (50714)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50908) - you deserved it (6538)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (61782)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13246) - you deserved it (41459)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59486) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (55303)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32427) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (4243)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (51128)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

#16359968
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7243) - you deserved it (57984)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

#16352403
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8729) - you deserved it (47498)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:04am - work - by explosiveBAM - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: