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Teauh

Offline (the 09/19/2014 at 7:09am) | Search for a member

Teauh

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  • Number of visits : 1572
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>nop200</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:10pm<b>NandaPanda</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:42pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:35am<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 2:28am

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Teauh's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (5740)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (49178)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (32276)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

#17465533
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (2302)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12768) - you deserved it (32813)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (4544)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (67149)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52410) - you deserved it (6691)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14497) - you deserved it (63524)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36033) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14442) - you deserved it (43436)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (4845)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64194) - you deserved it (6707)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57882)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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