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Teauh

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Teauh
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  • Number of visits : 781
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Teauh's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using my boyfriend's phone to call my mom. A text message arrived from "Christina" that said, "Just put the kids to bed, come over." He swears they're only work buddies, but refuses to tell her he has a girlfriend, to avoid making things weird at work. We've been together two years. FML

#18114976
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25588) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/30/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Beantown girl (woman) - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (16543)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

#17871365
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (2253)

On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
561 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (15877)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (6262)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

#17761780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2219)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:43am - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

#17756781
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80464) - you deserved it (11876)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80464) - you deserved it (11876)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (218419)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (5322)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (37486)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15318) - you deserved it (30249)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

#17465533
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (1989)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10637) - you deserved it (29374)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)



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