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Teauh

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Teauh

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  • Number of visits : 1285
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Teauh's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

#19222204
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (24084)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10030) - you deserved it (34576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (56476)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8884) - you deserved it (44662)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43671) - you deserved it (3549)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4944)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

#18381890
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (15523)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31306) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I lost my job for taking an unauthorized vacation. I just got married and requested time off for the wedding and honeymoon months ago; it was approved then. They forgot, and then got angry because I didn't remind them. I did remind them, the day before I left. FML

#18316081
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (2255)

On 11/22/2011 at 11:20am - work - by lostwife - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

#18279897
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34138) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/18/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by hannahk267 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (7946)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11815) - you deserved it (55423)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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