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Teauh

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Teauh
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  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Teauh's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

#891545
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15858) - you deserved it (50681)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

#853459
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53659) - you deserved it (6851)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (45281)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

#801391
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (62026)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63244) - you deserved it (11773)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

#571652
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72778) - you deserved it (9876)

On 03/24/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by spandex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49425) - you deserved it (598630)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64780) - you deserved it (12970)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197519) - you deserved it (31317)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

#266744
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49240) - you deserved it (11503)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49393) - you deserved it (9582)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)



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