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TeLario

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TeLario

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 134
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TeLario : I've had an incredibly rough life, but that's no reason to bitch around. GET OVER IT. In other news I like to snowboard and play Realm of the Mad God (that game is life). Life is awesome, live it up, eat lots of bacon, sleep a lot.

TeLario's page activity

Visits<b>noxiffic</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 12:00am

TeLario's FML badges

Judgmental

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Consolation prize

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TeLario's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57060) - you deserved it (3371)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45039) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48855) - you deserved it (6606)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (23966)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (67745)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4996) - you deserved it (41717)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

#19692459
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (3539)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (35794)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

#18767011
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (57316)

On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (5285)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (4468)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (3656)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (8921)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54712) - you deserved it (27485)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)



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