About TeLario : I've had an incredibly rough life, but that's no reason to bitch around. GET OVER IT. In other news I like to snowboard and play Realm of the Mad God (that game is life). Life is awesome, live it up, eat lots of bacon, sleep a lot.
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TeLario's favorite FMLs
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wasted_gas / 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by fmyarse / 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous
by Ladieda / 05/28/2012 at 6:15am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
by Tom Ali / 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by meach / 08/06/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…