About TayonaC : :D
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (2362)
On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)
Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (2362)
On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (1077)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (23016)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (23016)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18620) - you deserved it (2752)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (15719)
On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18592) - you deserved it (13093)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (2728)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (23883)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (5803)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (1312)
On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you deserved it (2423)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16320) - you deserved it (1490)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6672) - you deserved it (35175)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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