Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

TayonaC

Search for a member

TayonaC
  • Town/Country : Somewhere in Florida, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 3445
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TayonaC : :D

TayonaC's last visitors

ThriceWrittencrackmore278ohishkabibblecastellucciommizbbz210rogeroverwhirlednewsdeath_by_twix1SxcBuNniimichaelm1290

TayonaC's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of TayonaC's badges

TayonaC's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (1891)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (1891)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (1891)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4194) - you deserved it (24906)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31189)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML

#19952455
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (2974)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

#19948524
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/17/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by theuglyfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15417) - you deserved it (1209)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (5161)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

#19945004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12312) - you deserved it (17684)

On 07/16/2012 at 10:38am - kids - by oops123 (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (27691)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (3494)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (3192)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: