Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TayonaC

Search for a member

TayonaC

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6284
  • Number of comments : 230
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TayonaC : :D

TayonaC's page activity

Visits<b>miianah1</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:53am<b>IAmZim</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:53pm<b>skybug66</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:20am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:11am<b>Matrix_Redeemer</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:38pm<b>courseofaction</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:05am<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:31am<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 6:01am<b>Cole_jw</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Sierra7211</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:45pm<b>sodapop83</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:55pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>Vass0</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Konain</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 8:29am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 3:53pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 5:28am

TayonaC's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TayonaC's badges

TayonaC's favorite FMLs

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (8200)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61135) - you deserved it (25691)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (6879)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66697) - you deserved it (4059)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48705) - you deserved it (6367)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (3941)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (5581)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31706) - you deserved it (2992)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51327) - you deserved it (6288)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38726) - you deserved it (4970)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (3421)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (3428)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: