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Why am I up so early?
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TayonaC's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
by PsychoSarah / 04/06/2011 at 7:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2011 at 7:47am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
by Imslow / 04/05/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you… Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we… Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…