TayonaC

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 7:33pm)

TayonaC

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13057
  • Number of comments : 230
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TayonaC : :D

TayonaC's page activity

Visits<b>nickinoodle</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:42pm<b>Stiggy626</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 9:27am<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:03am<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 5:04am<b>1HateMyUsername</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 6:54am<b>Westifer</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 2:57pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:53pm<b>APoopVirus</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 12:19am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:04pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:07pm<b>amann27</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:58am<b>dafuq1</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:50am<b>teentee401</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 6:19pm<b>M1987</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:27pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:49pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:02am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:37pm<b>DJZach101</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:39pm

TayonaC's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of TayonaC's badges

TayonaC's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

by _/ | \_ / 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

by D: / 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

by inhaler -.- / 10/06/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

by kelbel89 / 10/01/2013 at 5:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

by A.Summers / 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

by hairy / 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous