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TayonaC

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TayonaC
  • Town/Country : Somewhere in Florida, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 November 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 3435
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About TayonaC : :D

TayonaC's last visitors

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TayonaC's favorite FMLs

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (1288)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (7176)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

#19567483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (3814)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

#19567272
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (1458) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/03/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Laura (woman) - France

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (5454)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (2351)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

#19531707
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (2560)

On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (2132)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14881) - you deserved it (3079)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (1780)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35464) - you deserved it (2172)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (34331)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

#19514086
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (1228)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by jack - Australia (Victoria)



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