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Taylormichele

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Taylormichele
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Taylormichele's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (41150)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (19058) - you deserved it (31703)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

#1520851 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (46552) - you deserved it (13809)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

#1518333 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (69612) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860 (328)

I agree, your life sucks (111975) - you deserved it (7395)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (54930) - you deserved it (32277)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

#1048842 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (58578) - you deserved it (8315)

On 04/17/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by RotoRooter (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiance was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

#1017067 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (63485) - you deserved it (24827)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:49am - intimacy - by nudesurprise (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (69365) - you deserved it (9607)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (64500) - you deserved it (31324)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (64481)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (164488) - you deserved it (14934)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

#690128 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (57308)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (63777)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

#640926 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (78337) - you deserved it (4278)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:13am - intimacy - by tehhotness (man) - United States (Massachusetts)