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TaylorTotsYumm

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TaylorTotsYumm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13675
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•Seattle
•soccer
•popsicles
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•oceans
•Febreze
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•singing
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness
•dykes

Things I hate:
•Man. U
•autotune
•wbc

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

TaylorTotsYumm's page activity

Visits<b>Asian_lnvasion</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>imcool456</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>CryosFear</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:35am<b>xGetMuted</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:00pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:10pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:50am<b>AE101</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:06pm<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:05am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:22am<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:39am<b>Zaros</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:28am<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:31am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:15pm

TaylorTotsYumm's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TaylorTotsYumm's badges

TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (14572)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56025) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8419) - you deserved it (37626)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (49129)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38765) - you deserved it (5627)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (54646)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (8723)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (41006)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (4930)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (4121)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (3393)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6556) - you deserved it (71984)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States



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