Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TaylorTotsYumm

Search for a member

TaylorTotsYumm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14118
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•Seattle
•soccer
•popsicles
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•oceans
•Febreze
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•singing
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness
•dykes

Things I hate:
•Man. U
•autotune
•wbc

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

TaylorTotsYumm's page activity

Visits<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:36pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:25pm<b>bmolover57</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:40am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:25pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:46pm<b>redwoods</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:30pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:36am<b>thedeej</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:16pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:19pm<b>ValVee92</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:46am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Asian_lnvasion</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:30pm<b>imcool456</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:55pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:29pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:02pm

TaylorTotsYumm's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TaylorTotsYumm's badges

TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (3827)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (14670)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

#16149509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35469) - you deserved it (5406)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Georgia -

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46626) - you deserved it (16071)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (14864)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44974) - you deserved it (4690)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

#16078669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by K. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (41274)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (7692)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14862) - you deserved it (44699)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33534) - you deserved it (9597)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32667) - you deserved it (22947)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (6881)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (4159)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML

#15871654
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (11528)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: