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TaylorTotsYumm

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TaylorTotsYumm
  • Town/Country : lesbotopia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11603
  • Number of comments : 1133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About TaylorTotsYumm : Things I love:
•Seattle
•soccer
•popsicles
•indie rock, classic rock, grunge, alt., jazz, blues
•Amy Winehouse
•Harry Potter
•oceans
•Febreze
•Anne Hathaway
•Liverpool fc
•'90s cartoons
•All That
•singing
•Grey's Anatomy
•environmental consciousness
•dykes

Things I hate:
•Man. U
•autotune
•wbc

-If you have any questions for me, or just want to talk, shoot me a message. I'll answer next time I use the website rather than the app.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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TaylorTotsYumm's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (4782)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (3820)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (18531)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (4700)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (7733)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (6041)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39365) - you deserved it (9031)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
574 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81027) - you deserved it (7243)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (4786)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (23421)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15753) - you deserved it (24223)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (15521)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54745) - you deserved it (7497)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66693) - you deserved it (16937)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

#16166972
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (4410)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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