About Taurus_ChicKa : Hello! I got interested in FML thanks to a friend who read it daily. I also love video games like Guild Wars and The Sims. I'm a huge fan of several other things as well, especially The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, The Hunger Games, CSI, and way too much more to list. I'm also an animal rights activist and despise people who hurt animals in any way, shape, or form. Wolves and turtles are my favorites.
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Taurus_ChicKa's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
by Ouchithurt / 08/04/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML
by PeterRabit / 07/25/2009 at 11:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML
by umbrella / 07/24/2009 at 7:39am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
by bbbkingsey / 07/23/2009 at 3:10am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by wow / 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by jadakorn / 07/11/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by SwordFish8 / 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
by peace_lost / 06/29/2009 at 6:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
by FailureAtLife121 / 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML
by lifesmells / 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…