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TaurusTheBull

Offline (the 09/08/2014 at 12:37am) | Search for a member

TaurusTheBull

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8294
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About TaurusTheBull :

TaurusTheBull's page activity

Visits<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:07am<b>involentnumber0</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:16am<b>JesterMay</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:33am<b>PossiblyInDanger</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:04am<b>SiriusArtistry</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:50am<b>elliecraig17</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 9:23pm<b>DoctorWatson</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:37pm<b>dylanjenkins1340</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:53pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Manspider91</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:32pm<b>justsayinxp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:31pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:21pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:27pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:15pm<b>GAOStarr</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 10:19pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 7:30pm

TaurusTheBull's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TaurusTheBull's badges

TaurusTheBull's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (8746)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58408) - you deserved it (4177)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47742) - you deserved it (4324)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73082) - you deserved it (7225)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43351) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56115) - you deserved it (6010)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65745) - you deserved it (18730)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (33422)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63161) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (47680)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50145) - you deserved it (7079)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81290) - you deserved it (4207)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51065) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50326) - you deserved it (8160)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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