TaurusTheBull

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Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 4:14pm)

TaurusTheBull

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 29446
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About TaurusTheBull :

TaurusTheBull's page activity

Visits<b>omarj03</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:35pm<b>zanoty</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:24pm<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:07am<b>involentnumber0</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:16am<b>JesterMay</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:33am<b>PossiblyInDanger</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:04am<b>SiriusArtistry</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:50am<b>elliecraig17</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 9:23pm<b>DoctorWatson</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:37pm<b>dylanjenkins1340</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:53pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Manspider91</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:32pm<b>justsayinxp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:31pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:21pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:27pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:15pm

TaurusTheBull's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TaurusTheBull's badges

TaurusTheBull's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

by accident / 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

by I.Want.Food. / 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids