TaurusTheBull

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Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 4:14pm)

TaurusTheBull

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 24971
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About TaurusTheBull :

TaurusTheBull's page activity

Visits<b>omarj03</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:35pm<b>zanoty</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:24pm<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Benjaminkamp</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:07am<b>involentnumber0</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:16am<b>JesterMay</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:33am<b>PossiblyInDanger</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:04am<b>SiriusArtistry</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 1:50am<b>elliecraig17</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 9:23pm<b>DoctorWatson</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:37pm<b>dylanjenkins1340</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:53pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Manspider91</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:32pm<b>justsayinxp</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:31pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 1:21pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:27pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:15pm

TaurusTheBull's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TaurusTheBull's badges

TaurusTheBull's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

by Ruinedchristmas / 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States / Kids

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals