Just in case you were wondering, the most useless, stupid, your life is not even remotely fucked at all in any way FML on this site ever: http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/35.
My name is Taryn :)
I like going on FML. A lot. And leaving comments because I like other people to read my opinions. I am somewhat self-centered that way. I hate people getting into fights in the comment section because it just ruins it. Here are some suggestions:
1)If there's an obvious troll, don't point it out. IGNORE it. Please, for the love of god. It will go away if you don't say anything.
2)Don't go around correcting people's fucking grammar. We are on Fmylife.com for god's sake, not in an english class. Nobody except you cares that somebody didn't use a comma or whatever.
3)People saying first!! is annoying. I don't care if they are first and can write whatever they want, yeah technically that's true but it's stupid. I don't want to see that. So just don't do it.
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18259) - you totally deserved it (3776)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you totally deserved it (3450)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you totally deserved it (6363)
On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you totally deserved it (3367)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you totally deserved it (3683)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you totally deserved it (3753)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you totally deserved it (53445)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39676) - you totally deserved it (13614)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you totally deserved it (13855)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65070) - you totally deserved it (13335)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you totally deserved it (11639)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112702) - you totally deserved it (11735)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you totally deserved it (93358)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by redhead (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48769) - you totally deserved it (5837)
On 02/25/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (283767) - you totally deserved it (15567)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
