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Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2945) - you deserved it (43957)
On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (3045)
On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it's officially been two weeks since I found out I have mono. It's also been two weeks since anyone has visited me, called me, or even emailed me. The real kicker? I'm now fired from my job because they can't believe I can have mono twice in one year. I guess I'm just lucky that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2813)
On 02/01/2010 at 1:43am - health - by blah - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (3232)
On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)
Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (4036)
On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (4204)
On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14893) - you deserved it (2961)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own and that I work at. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (6463)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (72764)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (4230)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15820) - you deserved it (2377)
On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10824) - you deserved it (23013)
On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64897) - you deserved it (4249)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52411) - you deserved it (4091)
On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (1567)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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