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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92288) - you deserved it (27509)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42040) - you deserved it (5264)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9036) - you deserved it (85842)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (3560)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by visn (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (48273)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61969) - you deserved it (8644)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was taking the subway to school. It was around 6:30am and I was listening to music and catching up on homework. When I took my headphones off to readjust them, I heard some grunting. I looked over at the man across from me to see he was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59976) - you deserved it (2507)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by danesy - United States (New York)
Today, I put my hand into a vending machine to retrieve a bottle of water that was caught in the slot. After a minute, I realized I was trapped. 2 hours, 4 fire trucks, 3 police cars, and 1 ambulance later I was freed. The vending machine was in pieces and the bottle of water wasn't even for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37588) - you deserved it (9650)
On 02/26/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by VenderBender (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56810) - you deserved it (7214)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (5654)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (1817)
On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (2753)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (4635)
On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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