Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tarak

Search for a member

Tarak
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4002
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Tarak's last visitors

FedergirlshanekicksassCanadiAnM8joeinthedarkkayla_f_babyyy

Tarak's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Tarak's badges

Tarak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13638) - you deserved it (50518)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55301)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (15379)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (11017)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (20298)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52233) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12398) - you deserved it (45606)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (39738)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8127) - you deserved it (52732)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (3197)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (13740)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (28315)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: