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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Tarak

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Tarak
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 May 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2199
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Tarak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (704)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (9563) - you deserved it (1454)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (28836)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (7896) - you deserved it (978)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (3327) - you deserved it (15941)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (8936) - you deserved it (3957)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends and I were having a random conversation on which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it was a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (3066)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you deserved it (41042)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (9098) - you deserved it (768)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2164)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409 (359)

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (24146)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (1833)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)