Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Talloz

Search for a member

Talloz
  • Town/Country : Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 February 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Talloz's last visitors

Freeze

Talloz's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Talloz's badges

Talloz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

#19427377
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (2176)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Brianna Weltmire - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
92 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21514) - you deserved it (50349)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23538) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9566) - you deserved it (32167)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9566) - you deserved it (32167)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (12288)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

#19131419
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (5306)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21551) - you deserved it (3337)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (9068)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (5833)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: