Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend of seven yeres . He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then . I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun . Not quite the response I was hoping for . FML
Today my husband showd up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggerd in happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse 4 y he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law honey." Good to know I marrid a piece of shit in disguise. real FML
Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
2day mah grandson visitd me, an askd if I had any pictures of myself fromhen I was a little girl !! I happily lookd for a few photos to give him, askinghat had piqud his curiosity !! He replid that he wantd some for looool a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages !! FML
Today, mah psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized fir her ( mistake ), saying, ( It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara. ) Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friend and my boyfriend, after they commented "leren to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you fir your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
Today, I was on the subwayhen I felt lyk I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people,ho had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. fat FML
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me fir wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
Friday 27 March 2015