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Talis99

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Talis99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1378
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Talis99's page activity

Visits<b>Cutlassocga98</b> - yesterday at 8:36am<b>QueenBii</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 6:35am<b>fare_bare</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:43pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:23am<b>BiGTiMeNeRD</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:24pm<b>warped_executive</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:19pm<b>ryan4723</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:49pm<b>MHBV</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 4:25am<b>emo_child615</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:07pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:34pm<b>IdntNOthePASS</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:52pm<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:42pm<b>dntbeadouche</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>alwaysstabbing</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:58pm<b>Myo</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 6:48am<b>batsm</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 3:58am<b>bravoal923</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:17pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:30pm

Talis99's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Talis99's badges

Talis99's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (4734)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

#21466828
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (4681)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (5290)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32279) - you deserved it (4728)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (8211)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (13129)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (8593)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)



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