Talis99

Search for a member

Offline (6 hours ago)

Talis99

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2239
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Talis99 : Nothing special

Talis99's page activity

Visits<b>seenoevil818</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Poetaster</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Shadowvoid</b> - 10 hours ago<b>umirin534</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 5:55pm<b>vreid</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 8:07am<b>AlexArtorias</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:41pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:43pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:40pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:45am<b>Rababco</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 12:51am<b>thatsaxguy</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:02am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Alexwpa4</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 12:17am<b>manofmerr</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:34pm<b>csjc</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:52am<b>Draveren</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:21am<b>nerd102</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:28pm<b>cydia123</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:51pm

Fucked!<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 4:43am<b>interesting33</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:39am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 9:17pm<b>nockels</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 5:49am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 4:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:30pm

Talis99's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Talis99's badges

Talis99's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

by bwoolf96 / 09/10/2015 at 8:32am / Health

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

by Julianapilikusplatosophophes / 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

by anon / 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

by grossedout / 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health