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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2239
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Talis99 : Nothing special

Talis99's page activity

Visits<b>seenoevil818</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Poetaster</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Shadowvoid</b> - 10 hours ago<b>umirin534</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 5:55pm<b>vreid</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 8:07am<b>AlexArtorias</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:41pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 10:43pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:40pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:45am<b>Rababco</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 12:51am<b>thatsaxguy</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:02am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Alexwpa4</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 12:17am<b>manofmerr</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:34pm<b>csjc</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:52am<b>Draveren</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:21am<b>nerd102</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:28pm<b>cydia123</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:51pm

Fucked!<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 4:43am<b>interesting33</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:39am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 9:17pm<b>nockels</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 5:49am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 4:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:30pm

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Talis99's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

by bwoolf96 / 09/10/2015 at 8:32am / Health

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

by Julianapilikusplatosophophes / 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

by anon / 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

by grossedout / 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

by EvilBubbles / 01/08/2015 at 10:45pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Health