Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TXFernwoods

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

TXFernwoods

2Fucked!

TXFernwoodsTXFernwoods
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 April 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15115
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About TXFernwoods : www.tristans.us/
















in a relationship with my dildo

TXFernwoods's page activity

Visits<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:44pm<b>Lagalette</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:49am<b>purplehair</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:29am<b>gunnerblaster</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:25am<b>Jakesssss</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:28pm<b>crackajak</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:47am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:49am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:26pm<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:39pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:50pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:28am<b>briang959</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:59pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:05pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:31pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:49am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:56pm<b>webe2000</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:23am

TXFernwoods's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of TXFernwoods's badges

TXFernwoods's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15980) - you deserved it (1607)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15352) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (4821)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18303) - you deserved it (1508)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (1363)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (1221)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

#21433884
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18192) - you deserved it (1014)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:40pm - work - by CoffeeGirl (woman) - United States

Today, my fiance heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

#21433819
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (1562)

On 06/29/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by rinakitty94 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

#21433696
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (2507)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:28am - love - by sleepingonmydesk (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was called a selfish brat for asking for a pillow as my birthday present. FML

#21433680
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (1584)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by youdontknowmewhy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (3593)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (2918)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (2194)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (2102)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: