Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TXFernwoods

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

TXFernwoods

2Fucked!

TXFernwoodsTXFernwoods
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12999
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About TXFernwoods : www.frenchmeth.com
















in a relationship with my dildo

TXFernwoods's page activity

Visits<b>kukumber</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:39pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:50pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:28am<b>briang959</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:59pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:05pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:31pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:49am<b>heyheyhey1038</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>twye</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:46pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:47am<b>boostedc</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:50pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:56pm<b>webe2000</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:23am

TXFernwoods's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of TXFernwoods's badges

TXFernwoods's favorite FMLs

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (4049)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (2111)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (1952)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (2528)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (2460)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28625) - you deserved it (3019)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28449) - you deserved it (1879)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (6552)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (1835)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (2728)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (4230)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: