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TXFernwoods

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TXFernwoods

2Fucked!

TXFernwoodsTXFernwoods
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13902
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About TXFernwoods : www.frenchmeth.com
















in a relationship with my dildo

TXFernwoods's page activity

Visits<b>crackajak</b> - yesterday at 2:47am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:49am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:26pm<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:39pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:50pm<b>kingdutchhy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:28am<b>briang959</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:59pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:05pm<b>NateC27</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:31pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:49am<b>heyheyhey1038</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:38pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>twye</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:46pm<b>rustydiamonds</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:47am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:56pm<b>webe2000</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:23am

TXFernwoods's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of TXFernwoods's badges

TXFernwoods's favorite FMLs

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14433) - you deserved it (1055)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (3684)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (1821)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (2922)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (2694)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (1785)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (1608)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (1553)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (1553)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (9335)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (3061)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29841) - you deserved it (2889)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML



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