Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TXFernwoods

Offline (9 minutes ago) | Search for a member

TXFernwoods

1Liked!

TXFernwoodsTXFernwoods
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5249
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About TXFernwoods : bongs.tk/food
i like questions

TXFernwoods's page activity

Visits<b>Flamevoid</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:30am<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:24pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:38am<b>turtlebahsax</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:48am<b>zombiejohn</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:48am<b>webe2000</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:23am<b>hit9876</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:51am<b>TaterTouch</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:44pm<b>eventer4ever95</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:19am<b>m1k3_b0rr311</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:31am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:30am<b>footballer69</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:57pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:56pm<b>SoMei</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:00pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:39pm<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:34pm<b>MissBehavin77</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:38pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:24pm

Liked!<b>webe2000</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:23am

TXFernwoods's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of TXFernwoods's badges

TXFernwoods's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (7742)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (1630)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (1976)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (5267)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (4316)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (7213)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (4214)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (3841)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: