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TRENZ's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
by NickJJ / 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML
by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug / 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by thanks4support / 05/14/2014 at 9:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
by imaginationdarling / 05/13/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Harry / 05/13/2014 at 6:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
by dating a big bag of dicks / 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm / United States / Animals
Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML
by monkey2069 / 05/13/2014 at 9:58am / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by bambam / 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my fiance and I were having pretty rough sex when she screamed for me to stop. After rushing… Today, the guy I like told me I looked beautiful and I got really excited and happy but it turned… Today, I was supposed to go on a movie date with a guy I met about a month ago and when it was time…