About TKello : I'm a college student spending way too much time on this site.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7460) - you deserved it (37320)
On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7557) - you deserved it (45282)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (7603)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10341) - you deserved it (36051)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (6932)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you deserved it (46737)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (3264)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24172) - you deserved it (9531)
On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (5734)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by mom21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11579) - you deserved it (41202)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (2985)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34225) - you deserved it (4984) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/05/2011 at 1:29am - intimacy - by homerde - Sent from mobile version
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (7632)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91266) - you deserved it (10764)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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