About TKello : I'm a college student spending way too much time on this site.
Up and coming moderator
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (30094)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (3776)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (26621)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (7075)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (5505)
On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (2829)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53239) - you deserved it (3341)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (10780)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (14531)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (4700)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (2304)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (6935)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (2295)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19981) - you deserved it (15062)
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (8315)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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