TKello

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 5:37am)

TKello

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6890
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About TKello : I'm a college student spending way too much time on this site.

TKello's page activity

Visits<b>boricualuv</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 3:33pm<b>irishgirl5689</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:12pm<b>crashk13</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:56pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:53am<b>noahbeast55</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:13am<b>nonamebadger</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:36am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 9:00pm<b>BazingaBurke</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:43pm<b>mrahhhhh</b> - the 08/23/2011 at 3:27am<b>almostkilledme</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 4:31pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:54pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 2:20pm

TKello's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of TKello's badges

TKello's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML

by grounded / 12/18/2011 at 4:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous